Really Cold, with a side of a broken heart

This blog is not as sad as the title appears. Actually it’s probably more warm than I give it credit, it’s just really cold outside as I write this. And the broken heart part is probably a little dramatic.  Over the last few days I have had numerous conversations with girlfriends about men. Why do men do this? Why do men do that? Why do men suck?

Well all of these questions can be answered in about one billiion different ways. There will never be a right answer and there could be a debate across the board from guys and girls about what it is men do, and what it is they don’t do. There are passive women and there are aggressive women. Women that intimidate and are blunt and say exactly what they are thinking at the moment and then there are women that just wait it out and let the guy come to them with feelings (I should get a little lesson on this).  I am not saying either is right or wrong, but these are merely observations I have come up with during my short lived life of love. I have been in love once (well maybe twice).  I have thought that I was in love about a million times in between. How do you every really know? I think past love has temporarily damaged me at times. You know that feeling of not feeling good enough? Other girls have way more to offer than I do. I change my mind too much. I stay very busy. I search for the bad, the miss-step or I just hate the nice ones. Sound familiar? Probably, because I am not the only female that does this.

Here is where the broken heart comes in. I break my own heart ALL the time. I used to think guys did, but after a talk with a good friend, she suggested they break our minds more than anything. They get into our heads and make us think we should feel this way or that way. They give us false hope, false fairytale (so does Disney). I am a busy person, I do have a lot on my plate, but for the right person none of that would matter. So I need to quit letting people use that as their excuse against me, and if they do, I can’t feel bad over it. It wasn’t meant to be.  I recently began re-watching the Sex and the City TV series. I have watched all of these episodes countless times, but what I noticed more recently is each episode the women are searching so hard to find “love”,  but are also searching for reasons it won’t work, or blinding themselves to why it shouldn’t work, but keep trying to make it work. We all do it, TV show or not, we all create an image of what love is supposed to be, we don’t just let it happen. Let it be organic, and maybe let it happen with the person that is put right in front of you.  Nope we make more excuses about everything and we make it complicated.

A relationship is right for you when it enhances your life, not when it complicates your life. We ALL need to remember that. My friend just shared an article with me about a letter written by John Steinbeck about falling in love. He wrote, “There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance.”  I think most people are in this type of love. Hollywood, High School, giving yourself a label based on who you date. He then refers to another type of love, “…an outpouring of everything good in you – of kindness, and consideration and respect – not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique  and valuable.” This love “can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.” I think I have felt this once, enough to know this is exactly what I want, and I will wait as long as I have to in order to have it. Not only have it, but keep it.

As to not to continue to go on about a topic that is so highly complicated it could take years to discuss, I will stop with this. Quit stressing over the little things. Men don’t worry nearly as much about conversation as women do. We over think conversation, actions and silence way more then we should. Once something is right there will be less worry. Stand your ground, be you whether its intimidating so to speak or maybe a little more passive, someone right will step into your life. When they do, maybe you’ll be lucky enough to hang on to them and have the relationship that is easy, not complicated. It enhances every aspect of your life and gives you reason to be stronger and more courageous. Don’t rush it. Don’t over think it. It will come.


Thank you to my southern “soul mate”. A gal I just bumped into one day and has impacted my way of thinking and taking on the world in so many ways. Friend soul mates are the best kind!

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