happy birthday dad.

1 year ago is the last time I spoke to my Dad. In December I decided to add things to the opposite of a “bucket list” and I created a “f*cket list”, and he was on it. For most of my life I have struggled with our relationship. He didn’t show up to games. He didn’t call me, I called him. He didn’t ask about my life, he told me about his new life. He made me feel bad that I didn’t spend time with him or reach out even though I was the only one that actually did. I’ve had friends like this too and those friends quickly pass through. This from your Dad, really hurts, and takes time to pass.

Today I woke up knowing it was his birthday and I was going to call, because, well,  that is what I do. But this past year I have had a birthday, I have celebrated holidays, I have had kick ass things happen in my life and he hasn’t reached out to learn about any of it or to wish me any amount of happiness.

Today I am deciding to be free, free of guilt that I have so long struggled with because of a relationship that has been very one sided.

Today I let go.

Happy Birthday Dad, I hope this next year is great for you, I really do.

I forgive you, but I am moving on. My life is filled with so much love, that is what we all deserve and that is all I’ve ever wanted.

3 thoughts on “happy birthday dad.

  1. Good for you for moving on, and freeing yourself from the drag this surely has been on you in the past. You’re a strong person Cailee, and you deserve to be surrounded by people who lift you up, and bring out the best in you!

  2. You are one amazing woman! I am happy you have found peace with this. It takes a strong person to rise from something like this. I just love you!!

  3. The truth will set you free. I am so sorry that he has hurt you, I spent too many years being angry at this person for hurting me and you, it did me no good. It was not worth the headspace. You do not need to put energy into someone that cannot give it back. Know that you are worth so much more, you are deserving of respect, I’m glad you’re letting that one go, my hopes is that you can forgive.
    Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” And they cast lots to divide his garments. Luke 23:34.

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