1 year ago is the last time I spoke to my Dad. In December I decided to add things to the opposite of a “bucket list” and I created a “f*cket list”, and he was on it. For most of my life I have struggled with our relationship. He didn’t show up to games. He didn’t call me, I called him. He didn’t ask about my life, he told me about his new life. He made me feel bad that I didn’t spend time with him or reach out even though I was the only one that actually did. I’ve had friends like this too and those friends quickly pass through. This from your Dad, really hurts, and takes time to pass.
Today I woke up knowing it was his birthday and I was going to call, because, well, that is what I do. But this past year I have had a birthday, I have celebrated holidays, I have had kick ass things happen in my life and he hasn’t reached out to learn about any of it or to wish me any amount of happiness.
Today I am deciding to be free, free of guilt that I have so long struggled with because of a relationship that has been very one sided.
Today I let go.
Happy Birthday Dad, I hope this next year is great for you, I really do.
I forgive you, but I am moving on. My life is filled with so much love, that is what we all deserve and that is all I’ve ever wanted.