There is a beautiful connection between movement and breath. Inner thoughts occur. Worry. Faith. Doubt. Belief. Strength. Weakness. Fear. Fearlessness.

Day seven has arrived in what has already felt like a month of time here, yet has only felt like one day has gone by. There are so many vibrations going through my mind. The fear of being authentically myself on arrival and being accepted. We got delayed on our journey so we arrived a day late. Our first day started off with 4 hours of silence. First off if you know me personally you are probably thinking how on earth did you stay quiet that one. It was tough. I met 15 new people via silence. We connected just by a simple smile and movement. There was a lot of curiosity on both ends, who are these people? Will they like me? We meditated in each other’s presence, we flowed in a two hour vinyasa class and then the silence was broke and we met. I immediately felt a connection with many of these people if not all of them. That is just the beginning. 

We are all here on a different journey. We are here with a different story. We are here to find our own path. Yet we are all connected as one and we are all facing different fears. What I truly love about the practice of yoga is that it comes in all forms. It doesn’t matter the success or the struggle that you bring to the mat. What matters is that you show up and you grow from the experience. A lot of people fear yoga. I think it’s because you know you’ll have to stop and listen to yourself, you’ll have to feel movement in your body and you’ll have to listen to your mind and the chatter that exists within. I relate it to how I feel about writing. This scares the crap out of me. I was told once I need to blog because I have good stuff to say. But I constantly doubt my abilities to do it. I was also told to never go back and read it, cause I’ll over analyze, correct and not actually say what I mean. They were right…about that last part anyway.

I am finding this experience is a lot like the volcano that erupted just a short seventeen miles away from us. We expect by nature of a volcano at some point it will erupt. I came in full of expectations of what an advanced teacher training could hold, yet I was ready to dive into the unknown. The people that had to evacuate didn’t know what to expect. They knew that the eruption could be life changing, but how life changing was unknown. This training is opening several doors of thought and life changing experiences. In just seven days my mind has been filled with so many new ideas, dreams, goals and it has also allowed me to let go of a a few things that I have been hanging on to.  I have noticed things that I need to change and it feels good to acknowledge. Twenty five days left and I’m sure we’ve barely scratched the surface.

Pause in the moments of unknown. And breathe. Don’t think of what’s next. Think of what is now. – Cailee


Today kicks off the 6 week weight loss challenge at Orange Theory Fitness Woodbury! I am stoked to be the captain of Team White! I have some amazing people on my team looking to make their life even better. But not only that, there are over 200 people total between the three teams that are looking to change their lives over 6 weeks and I am super excited to keep them motivated to do that.

Since starting to coach at OTF I have made a lot of lifestyle changes. I workout more, I eat better, I sleep more and I find I am happier than I have been in a long time. I made a big leap when I came to Orange Theory, I left the corporate desk life that I spent 14 years in. I was often unhappy in my own physical body which ultimately affected my mind and how I felt about myself. I was constantly motivating people to be in shape and to eat healthier, yet I didn’t feel I was in the body to preach that.

I am now walking the walk, not just talking.

Since this time last year I am down 20 lbs! I’d be curious what my body fat to muscle comparison was a year ago because I’m sure it would have been an interesting change. The number on the scale is cool, but really when it comes down to weight loss for me it’s about how I feel when I put on my clothes. A few weeks ago I decided to try on all my jeans and found most of them fall off of me (these are jeans I still have from high school/college by the way). Most of my yoga pants are too big too (is that even possible, why yes it is). I have been working on myself everyday and I have noticed little changes, but lately the results are really showing. It has taken time and I have been putting in a TON of work, but every time I look in the mirror, every time I get dressed, every time I work out I feel that much better than I have (probably since I was 14). It has been completely worth sacrificing the junk I used to eat and not skipping my workouts. It’s a lifestyle change really and I am feeling 100 percent better because of it.

I want nothing more than to help people push through the same things I have pushed through and see the results I’ve been able to see. You can do it and once you get there it is much easier than saying tomorrow i’ll do it. Do something today, You got this!

Also, I am participating in the weight loss challenge. My goal is accountability of getting my workouts in and finally losing those stubborn areas my body holds on to 🙂

Day one….I’ll keep you updated on my progress 🙂



Left: One year ago (fall 2016), Right: Last weekend (fall 2017)



  1. sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.

This year has had me doing a lot of self evaluation. There is so much hate going on in the world that I’ve really had to think “what am I doing to make the world better”. I’ve been turning to God more and really just trying to digest how we as human beings can make the world a better place. 

I am not one to hand out money to someone panhandling, or someone homeless begging for money. I guess too many stories have broke that trust. But today I met Allen. I had just parked my car and walked over to pay the meter. There was a man sitting near the pay station that started talking to me. I said hello as I had no reason not to. He responded with “Excuse me ma’am, can I ask you a question?” I responded, “you sure can”. Allen then introduced himself and continued to ask me why there was so much hate? I simply told him, Allen I’m not sure, but I wish there wasn’t. He then told me about how a man had just came by him earlier that morning and was calling him the N word and telling him he was worthless. Allen wasn’t sure why that man was so full of hate “we all bleed red don’t we?” This truly hit a cord with me. Why is there so much hate? 

Allen ended the story saying, I just wish people weren’t like that. I apologized that he was treated that way. I told Allen if he was still there when I was done with my meeting I’d buy him lunch. He lit up, I could see true pain yet true gratefulness in his eyes. 

Allen was still there when I returned just over an hour later. I gave him $10 and told him to get some food, and promise me he wouldn’t do anything else with the money. Something told me I needed to trust him and trust he truly was in need. I’ve never seen someone look so shocked by kindness. 

I got in my car and I watched him walk to the food trucks a block away, I’ve never seen someone walk with a look of gratefulness like Allen did. I’m glad I could help him today. 

To the person who spoke poorly to Allen, I will pray for you that you will be a little kinder and realize we’re all working hard to get through this life. We don’t know what people have dealt with, I’ll never know what Allens story was or why he was there today. If we all are a little kinder and filled with more compassion the suffering and terror will stop. 



Wow. Where has the time gone. 2014 is flying. I have been terrible about posting. Life has been busy, full and rewarding. I spent most of August and the beginning of September in South Africa and Malawi. If you weren’t following my blog about that, please check it out. andrewcaileeafricanadventure.wordpress.com  I still have plenty to post there, but for now I am have been at a stand still transitioning back to life. I dove back in head first which was good and bad. I adjusted to the time change quickly, but my body did not adapt back to American food very well. I really had to eat clean the first week in order to actually keep anything in me. That really says something about the food we eat here wouldn’t you say? Because of this I have decided it’s a good time to keep my eating habits just as clean all of the time. I love to indulge, but to be honest the food here feeds my body much differently than the food I ate in Africa.

With that I need to jump back on the healthy eats train and start posting my recipes again. I miss trying to cook new things. Now that I am settled into my new place and I am back from my trip, nothing should stop me.

The other big thing is dating. I have given into dating sites. I decided I can’t knock them if I don’t try them. It is a fascinating world online. More on that later. Feels good to get back on here. More to come soon, I hope 🙂

No script

Over the last 6 months I feel like I have found a whole new meaning behind my teaching. I have become a teacher, rather than an instructor. Just yesterday someone told me about a class they took with Judith Lasater. They said that she was describing the difference between an instructor and a teacher. An instructor reads from a script, a teacher teaches from their own words, there own experience, they connect with their students. This is what has happened for me. I have let go of the script and I have became me, a teacher.

I have feared taking that next step in teaching. I have feared teaching the higher level. Who am I to sequence a powerful yoga class that students enjoy. Who am I to share my own experiences. Who am I to allow my students to open up to me or share their world with me, with themselves, right there on their mat.

Who am I not to do that?

Certain experiences in life can instruct us or teach us. When you buy something new it may comes with instructions. This is how you are “supposed” to use it. Sometimes you should stick to the script, but do you always have to? In some cases, yes, but in some scenarios when you use the script as a guideline and use life experiences, observations, teachings to step away from that script you may discover something new. This discovery could be life changing. It could be the difference between instructing and teaching.

The other thing I have learned is not all experiences are the same. Some teachings may resonate with you better than others. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t accept what doesn’t resonate, but maybe look deeper as to why it is affecting you negatively. It could be a fear, something pushing you out of your comfort zone, something that is offering a challenge that you are afraid to accept.

I hear many people say what I am teaching is not Yoga. I understand it may not align with ancient teaching of yoga, but I also understand that yoga can be described differently for everyone. One type of yoga may resonate with you, and another may not. Yoga means to “yoke” or to unite. The whole idea of yoga is to connect mind, body and spirit together. Your choice of how you do that is up to you. For some it is meditation, it is quiet, it is time to self reflect with the entire world shut off. For other’s it is dripping sweat and getting your butt kicked to the sound of Rihanna or Calvin Harris. Neither is wrong. We all find a different way to connect with our self. It will be a different journey for everyone.

Start somewhere, maybe even with a script. No matter where you start remember it is a long journey of ups, downs, egos, judgements, love, hate, but most importantly self discovery. I know myself more today than I ever have. I will continue to learn, I will continue to grow. I will continue to use a script as a guideline, but I will always use life experience to be my true Self and to continue to teach others to be theirs.


Just Juice

Yesterday I began a 3 day cleanse. Nothing but juice for 3 days. I won’t lie, my head is playing many games with me. I keep thinking that I will die by only consuming juice, how could I possibly live without solid food?

Day one is in the books and I made it through the day.  No need for the extra snacks of fruits and veggies even. I survived on 6 juices. Happy Green, Deep Cleanse, The Ginger, Juicy Roots, Radiance and Green Milk & Tea so Good.  I drank them in that exact order too. ( You can find ingredients at www.juicesogood.com/juices/ )

I found that I was full all day yesterday. I had good energy and the only thing I really wanted was fruit or veggies and some chips and salsa (my weakness), but I didn’t cave because my body felt nourished.  During a cleanse it really is all about giving to your body, being good to your body and not quite over-exerting yourself.  So going to hockey last night may or may not have been the best thing. However I did notice I had a good amount of energy for the first hour and then I could tell I was getting tired. It was incredible considering I had only had 5 juices up until that point. I saved the Green Milk for after I was done. It was the perfect fit and quite refreshing after and hour and a half on the ice. (It was the last night of hockey and I drank the Green Milk while all my hockey pals drank beer). When I got home I got ready for bed and sipped on the Tea So Good. I was out right away, and slept very good!

I am finding the toughest part of the cleanse so far is when you are around people eating or enjoying an ice cold beer after hockey. Other than that I am feeling energized, I haven’t had any headaches and my body doesn’t feel weak.

Day 2 is off to a good start, but I am a little worried about teaching yoga sculpt tonight. I keep reminding myself  to take it easy and be gentle to myself. I already pushed myself once during the cleanse by going to hockey.  My fear is not being tired or weak during class, my fear is actually having that “yoga hunger” after class. I may have to add an extra juice to my day if that’s the case 🙂





War Stories

I spent most of my day yesterday in the hospital with my Grandpa. I received a call in the morning from my Dad who I don’t often talk to. I knew his phone call at 10am on a Tuesday wasn’t going to bring good news. About a year ago I was visiting my Grandma in the hospital and although she pulled through it, I continue to be nervous everyday that I will have to say good bye, and these phone calls always make me nervous.   My dad lives just over 2 hours away from the cities and he was on his way down as my Grandma told him Grandpa has been acting strange, he had been very quiet the last few weeks and was acting very confused about most things. When she brought him to the doctor on Monday they did a CT scan and found that there may be tumors in his brain. They sent him home for the night but had him come back in on Tuesday to be admitted to the hospital and for more testing to be done. I sit here currently not knowing the results, but I do know there is a likely chance it isn’t good.  My Grandpa has survived WWII as well as many different types of cancer. The fact that he has spots in his brain that could be tumors, just isn’t promising that it will result in anything other than being cancerous. (this is my own non medical terms of what is going on)

I am so thankful that my dad called me yesterday. I am more thankful that I made the choice to drop everything from my day and take time to go be with my Grandpa and Grandma, my Dad and my cousin Brenda.  I don’t have the best relationship with my dad unfortunately. We do not have a bad relationship by any means, we just are not close. We’ve had a few bumps in life that have left us pretty distant. Spending time with him yesterday allowed me to catch up, I felt no need to have anger towards him for not being a bigger part of my life, I have no regret of how life has been. It was  nice to share with him the things I am doing. I am passionate about what I am doing in life right now and I love everyone and everything that surrounds me.

We all live such busy lives in today’s world, we often need that reminder to slow down. Yesterday was my reminder. I spent a lot of time with my Grandparents when I was growing up. I have not made as much time as an adult to be with them.   Years ago I lost my Grandpa and Grandma Stangl, my mom’s parents. My Grandpa Stangl died suddenly so I didn’t get a chance to sit with him and say goodbye. My Grandma however slowly began to fade towards joining my Grandpa so I was able to sit with her and say goodbye. Last year when Grandma Foster was in the hospital I went to be with her, you never know what could have happened. Luckily she pulled through and is still quite the whippersnapper at 89.  Even yesterday at the hospital I could see that about her. Such a strong woman. It was hard to watch her get the news and have reality set in that my Grandpas prognosis wasn’t very good. I don’t think I’ve ever seen my Grandma cry. I don’t think I’ve every seen my dad cry either. I spoke with my dad this morning and realized he has never really lost anyone close to him. My dad is 61. I can’t imagine. I lost my uncle when I was 11. My uncle was one of my closest family members. From there I have lost way too many friends, my mom’s parents, and someone who I was on a beginning of a possible relationship with. I have had to deal with death far too many times in my short time here on earth. Each death has brought pain, tears, questions, but also an appreciation. An appreciation that I have had them in my life. They have taught me something that I will always cherish.

Whatever I find out in the coming days with my Grandpa, I know I will be strong for him, for my Grandma and for my Dad. That’s who I am. I am a supporter, a backbone for people. I will cry with them, but I will also smile and laugh at stories and memories of an amazing life that has been lived through my amazing grandparents. I will take these days, whether they are just that, days, or if they extend in to months and years (praying they do) and cherish every moment. Be there more. Take the time for them. They ultimately gave me life on this earth. I am starting to realize where I get all these quirks from (thanks Grandpa).  I will always cherish that time I spent yesterday, holding my Grandpas hand and looking into his eyes. I will never know all that those eyes have experienced or seen in this world. 94 years of experience thus far. He gave me his story of war a few years back. It is pages and pages of his experience in his own words. I can’t wait to finish reading it.  I can only hope that I can continue to learn from him and my Grandma. They have both experienced so much life. I hope to do the same and I hope to one day be where they are, still in love after 68 years. Still holding on together with hope, love and God by their side.

Really Cold, with a side of a broken heart

This blog is not as sad as the title appears. Actually it’s probably more warm than I give it credit, it’s just really cold outside as I write this. And the broken heart part is probably a little dramatic.  Over the last few days I have had numerous conversations with girlfriends about men. Why do men do this? Why do men do that? Why do men suck?

Well all of these questions can be answered in about one billiion different ways. There will never be a right answer and there could be a debate across the board from guys and girls about what it is men do, and what it is they don’t do. There are passive women and there are aggressive women. Women that intimidate and are blunt and say exactly what they are thinking at the moment and then there are women that just wait it out and let the guy come to them with feelings (I should get a little lesson on this).  I am not saying either is right or wrong, but these are merely observations I have come up with during my short lived life of love. I have been in love once (well maybe twice).  I have thought that I was in love about a million times in between. How do you every really know? I think past love has temporarily damaged me at times. You know that feeling of not feeling good enough? Other girls have way more to offer than I do. I change my mind too much. I stay very busy. I search for the bad, the miss-step or I just hate the nice ones. Sound familiar? Probably, because I am not the only female that does this.

Here is where the broken heart comes in. I break my own heart ALL the time. I used to think guys did, but after a talk with a good friend, she suggested they break our minds more than anything. They get into our heads and make us think we should feel this way or that way. They give us false hope, false fairytale (so does Disney). I am a busy person, I do have a lot on my plate, but for the right person none of that would matter. So I need to quit letting people use that as their excuse against me, and if they do, I can’t feel bad over it. It wasn’t meant to be.  I recently began re-watching the Sex and the City TV series. I have watched all of these episodes countless times, but what I noticed more recently is each episode the women are searching so hard to find “love”,  but are also searching for reasons it won’t work, or blinding themselves to why it shouldn’t work, but keep trying to make it work. We all do it, TV show or not, we all create an image of what love is supposed to be, we don’t just let it happen. Let it be organic, and maybe let it happen with the person that is put right in front of you.  Nope we make more excuses about everything and we make it complicated.

A relationship is right for you when it enhances your life, not when it complicates your life. We ALL need to remember that. My friend just shared an article with me about a letter written by John Steinbeck about falling in love. He wrote, “There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance.”  I think most people are in this type of love. Hollywood, High School, giving yourself a label based on who you date. He then refers to another type of love, “…an outpouring of everything good in you – of kindness, and consideration and respect – not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique  and valuable.” This love “can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.” I think I have felt this once, enough to know this is exactly what I want, and I will wait as long as I have to in order to have it. Not only have it, but keep it.

As to not to continue to go on about a topic that is so highly complicated it could take years to discuss, I will stop with this. Quit stressing over the little things. Men don’t worry nearly as much about conversation as women do. We over think conversation, actions and silence way more then we should. Once something is right there will be less worry. Stand your ground, be you whether its intimidating so to speak or maybe a little more passive, someone right will step into your life. When they do, maybe you’ll be lucky enough to hang on to them and have the relationship that is easy, not complicated. It enhances every aspect of your life and gives you reason to be stronger and more courageous. Don’t rush it. Don’t over think it. It will come.


Thank you to my southern “soul mate”. A gal I just bumped into one day and has impacted my way of thinking and taking on the world in so many ways. Friend soul mates are the best kind!

Blank Canvas

For years I have sold myself short. I come off as confident, which I am. But there is also a side of me that doesn’t think I’m good enough. Competition with myself, competition with others. I choose to chase the road that I shouldn’t. I continuously want what I shouldn’t. Be it a friendship, a love interest or something materialistic. We all have our downfalls. One in particular I need to give up. I need to stop allowing people to get into my head. I need to not worry what other people think. I respect my friends thoughts and opinions and believe me a lot of them have gotten me through so much this past year. But there are some people that say what you want to hear and then do something completely different. Unfortunately it is the world we live in. My generation is the worst at it. I want to leave that behind as I journey into a new year. I am better than allowing people into my life that treat me that way. I am fortunate enough to be surrounded by people who are wise, truthful and would drop anything if I needed them. I feel I would do the same for them and those people are the ones I need to focus my time on. Those are the people that will push me to follow my dreams, they are the people that will tell me when I am wrong, but encourage me in a way that will push me to do something right.

Thank you to all of you that encourage me. Thank you for those of you that are honest, even when I may not want to hear it. Thank you to all of you that have done me wrong, because it has and will make me a stronger person. 2014 is my year. 2014 is where I stop being stepped on. 2014 I will believe in myself and know I am good enough. I can achieve my goals and dreams.  No ones words can stop me. There are simply words put into this world to try to slow us down, make us feel bad, give us false hope.  But there are also words that are encouraging, lifting and allow us to wake up with a smile and a mission to be better than yesterday.

No resolutions for me. Just a continuous aim towards my goals. Becoming a better person than I was last year. Opening new doors, new friendships and relationships. Creating a fresh, free of non-sense year. Last year started so wonderfully and then offered me some trying moments as every year is able to do. I got through it, became stronger because of it. I have allowed my faith to continuously guide me. I hope to make faith a bigger part of everyday this year. I am looking to give back to my own community more and give back to our country and world. I look forward to adventures on deck for this year and finally using my passport. My best friend kept saying 2014, year of no regrets. That’s where I’m at too. The past is just that, the past, and the future is a blank canvas, ready to be painted on, ready to have new life.
I wish you all a prosperous new year full of goals and dreams that make your heart happy!


“There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind” – C.S. Lewis