surrender and be fearless

The last two days have been a test. I have broke down and cried several times. Over fear, over generosity, over worry, over gratefulness. Back and forth I have felt sad tears and happy tears and all of it is because I am fifteen days away from the journey of a lifetime. I need to surrender and be fearless, God has great plans for me on the road ahead.

A few months ago I toyed with the idea of going somewhere for my 500 hour training for yoga and just two weeks from now I will find myself in a quiet seaside town in east Bali. Who would have thought?

I have often looked at life as an adventure, and I have been fortunate to take many trips through out the US and I’ve visited countries that most can only dream of. I went to South Africa and Malawi in 2014. It was my first time leaving the country. I got to meet people who live a completely different life than me. It was humbling, and the first time I realized that I have a bigger purpose in life than working 9-5 at a desk.

Shortly after, in 2015 I went to Mexico. Also eye opening – but I got to live in the luxurious tourist part, but man it was different than home, and it’s so close to home. I have been back to Mexico a couple times since and each time I have been able to experience culture at a deeper level.

2016 was Germany where I got to explore European life, sports and travel by train and bus where I visited Prague, Czech Republic and Salzburg, Austria. I explored castles where I wondered how it felt to be a princess, drank beer just like the Germans (it was Oktoberfest in Munich so I had to play the part) and tasted what makes European cities so amazing.

Here we are wrapping up 2017 and I am lucky enough to continue the adventure in Bali. I know that what I am about to learn will be life changing. Something their website said that made me believe this was the right training for me, “When it’s done you’ll be a different person…not a person who’s changed, but rather a person who has a clearer, truer understanding of who they really are…a person who sees the beauty and grace inside of themselves, and know what it’s like to feel a connection with others that’s so strong it can never be broken.”

I can’t wait to bring this feeling back to my students – I am ready to keep changing lives and I’m excited to better understand myself so I can make a bigger impact in this world. It’s tough what we face everyday in this world – in the news, in our jobs, in our communities. We can make a choice how we feel in our lives, even when bad things happen around us. We can surrender, we can be fearless and we can make a choice to be our best selves.

I am going to do my best to blog at least once a week while I’m gone – maybe even twice. But for the most part I’m staying technology free which is scary and exciting all at the same time. Be sure to follow here for updates 🙂

For more information on where I’m headed and what I’m doing Click Here
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Blank Canvas

For years I have sold myself short. I come off as confident, which I am. But there is also a side of me that doesn’t think I’m good enough. Competition with myself, competition with others. I choose to chase the road that I shouldn’t. I continuously want what I shouldn’t. Be it a friendship, a love interest or something materialistic. We all have our downfalls. One in particular I need to give up. I need to stop allowing people to get into my head. I need to not worry what other people think. I respect my friends thoughts and opinions and believe me a lot of them have gotten me through so much this past year. But there are some people that say what you want to hear and then do something completely different. Unfortunately it is the world we live in. My generation is the worst at it. I want to leave that behind as I journey into a new year. I am better than allowing people into my life that treat me that way. I am fortunate enough to be surrounded by people who are wise, truthful and would drop anything if I needed them. I feel I would do the same for them and those people are the ones I need to focus my time on. Those are the people that will push me to follow my dreams, they are the people that will tell me when I am wrong, but encourage me in a way that will push me to do something right.

Thank you to all of you that encourage me. Thank you for those of you that are honest, even when I may not want to hear it. Thank you to all of you that have done me wrong, because it has and will make me a stronger person. 2014 is my year. 2014 is where I stop being stepped on. 2014 I will believe in myself and know I am good enough. I can achieve my goals and dreams.  No ones words can stop me. There are simply words put into this world to try to slow us down, make us feel bad, give us false hope.  But there are also words that are encouraging, lifting and allow us to wake up with a smile and a mission to be better than yesterday.

No resolutions for me. Just a continuous aim towards my goals. Becoming a better person than I was last year. Opening new doors, new friendships and relationships. Creating a fresh, free of non-sense year. Last year started so wonderfully and then offered me some trying moments as every year is able to do. I got through it, became stronger because of it. I have allowed my faith to continuously guide me. I hope to make faith a bigger part of everyday this year. I am looking to give back to my own community more and give back to our country and world. I look forward to adventures on deck for this year and finally using my passport. My best friend kept saying 2014, year of no regrets. That’s where I’m at too. The past is just that, the past, and the future is a blank canvas, ready to be painted on, ready to have new life.
I wish you all a prosperous new year full of goals and dreams that make your heart happy!

-CLS

“There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind” – C.S. Lewis

Content through Him

For years I have been in the search to become whole. I will admit that I look strong on the outside, I may even come off strong when you speak with me about my past, but when it comes down to it I am still in pain with things of the past. I have always been in search of finding the pieces to fill the voids I feel, but always come up feeling empty. I have been afraid to admit it and quite frankly I have been afraid to give in to God as so many have suggested.

Finally a little less than a year ago, I gave in. It has been hard to fully allow God into my life, as a matter of fact I can say He still isn’t fully a part of me. But what is important is that I am letting him become the number one in my life. For years I have been afraid to go to church. I feared people would judge or criticize, and ya know some have. When it comes down to it I have had to do what is best for me. My approach on things has changed because I think of God first, plus I look to him for answers to decisions I can’t quite make on my own.  He is starting to fill the void in my life and I am ever so gracious for it.

The hardest part for me has been walking into Church alone. It’s kind of like going to a movie alone, I feel like people will look at me funny. But actually it has made me feel like a stronger person. I made the leap this year to live on my own, completely, no roommates. I am finding such an immense amount of independence from it as well as a feeling of being content with myself, a feeling I have never fully felt before.  I thought I would feel alone, but really the alone time has been so good for me. I am embracing every moment and finding joy in my quiet time. I even find that I try to spend some of this time with God. I read about him, and how he works in my life. I found taking time to read no matter what it is that I am reading has been much more fulfilling to me than the time in the past I spent watching TV. I am on my my way to feeling less empty. I still find times that I hurt inside from my past, but I am using God’s power and my own yoga practice as a way to steer quickly away from those feelings. Each day is a continued blessing, I am happy I am on this journey. I’m living in the present time, embracing every moment and taking life one step at a time.